The Perfect Last Day

In the far past - well I guess it was not too long ago... it just seems like millions of hours ago - I took a certain Literature class that I was forced to write in. To be honest, most of the time writing stresses me out. However on rare occasions, words flow out of me. In the rare occasion that I wrote this paper for homework, I was very ill indeed. You see, for some reason I could not swallow food very well, and if I swallowed it the food would mostly come back up. Not a pretty site, I must say. And so, without food and without energy and without sleep because my throat hurt terribly from the wicked stomach acid, I wrote. I wanted to have a healthy appetite and to digest my food. But I could not. I was delirious from lack of food, and was escorted to the Hospital (where very hospitable people serve you :). I desperately wished I could swallow a huge white pill that would give me all the nutrients I needed for the day. However, I could not find one. Thus, I was forced to spend hours forcing nasty food down my sore throat all the while knowing that it would soon come back up. In light of the fact that I was unable to pleasurably eat food...here is the paper written while I was starving to death:

29 October 2010

The Perfect Last Day

If you knew you would die tomorrow, what would you do today…the last twenty-four hours of your life? This question filled me with excitement, and I began contemplating all of the little things that would make me happy. Pretty soon, I had the whole last day of my life planned out. First, I would fill a magnificent crystal bowl with fresh luscious strawberries, blue berries, kiwis, and pineapple, and eat, savoring every bite. I would then sit in the center of a garden surrounded by rainbow colored flowers and fluttering butterflies, and inhale the sweet air. In this garden, a white grand piano would stand majestically. I would allow my fingers to dance over the keys creating magical lullabies. After soaking in this sweet, colorful, and musical beauty, I would travel to a bamboo forest and hug the most furry and soft panda bear. Then I would crawl deep into a cave and stare at the crystallizing wonders of the underworld. Returning to the Earth’s surface, I would find an open grassy field that stretched to the horizon. In this green expanse, I would run like the wind, turn cart-wheels, and twirl around with my arms outstretched. Experiencing so much happiness, I would be filled with a dazed sleepiness. Thus, I would travel to the beach. Lulled by the sound of the waves crashing on the sandy seashore, nothing would make me happier than to jump onto a huge bed covered in fluffy white pillows and comforters. I would snuggle down into them and fall, actually ascend, into a deep refreshing sleep. While I slept, I would soar through clouds and rainbows and swim with Merfolk in their golden palaces.

As I looked back on this imaginary perfect last day, a flaw shone through. All of these experiences would only please my five senses. They were not wrong in themselves, but the position in which I put them was flawed. The simple pleasures of this world, as long as they are not sinful, are blessings from God. They are like little treats or desserts. The problem was that I was eating them as my main course. In Luke 12:34 Jesus explains, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” My utmost treasure was in pleasing my physical senses. My heart was in them, and they were my idols. I was placing them above God saying, “They will fulfill me. These experiences will satisfy my desire for happiness. They will make the perfect last day. I do not need God.” What happens after someone fills up on sweets? They will be very energized and happy for a time. However, after the sugar rush wears off, a crash follows. That would happen to me if I placed pleasing my five senses above pleasing the sixth sense which is not of this body but of the soul: Faith. The treats of this world would fill me and excite me for a time as my senses munched on them. Nevertheless, I would start feeling sick and become tired of them. I would always want more… constantly searching for happiness and fulfillment, but finding disappointment and emptiness instead. I cannot fill the hole in my soul with unsatisfying worldly treats. I need real food.

I want to give the last day of my life to God, and feast on His food. God has given me everything I have. “What do you have that you did not receive?” (1 Corinthians 4:7). God gave me a body with senses, a soul that will live forever, and one life to live. The very fact that I survive each day is a blessing from God. Because He created and furnished me with these presents, He knows the best and most fulfilling way to use them. Thus, I will simply, “give to God what is belongs to God” (Luke 20:25). The day is His.

Once the day is God’s, I must discover what His will for the day is and savor it. In John 4: 32, 34 Jesus declared, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about. My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work.” God also promises that, “Whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:13, 14) . . . “those who were hungry hunger no more” (1 Samuel 2:5). I do not want to throw my day away by snacking on the unquenchable desires of my five senses. I will feast on the everlasting food of God, His Word and His will, and cry out to my Father: “Here I am, send me. If you are willing, show me your will for this day, and give me the strength to follow and obey you with all of my heart. Drench me in Your perfect Love and let it bubble over into the lives around me.” My Father will answer, “Ask and it will be given to you. I am willing. Come, and you will see. If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Matthew 7:7, Luke 5:13, John 1:39, Luke 9:23, Jeremiah 31:3). I want to do what King David said, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). As I feast and delight myself in Him and His will, my unsatisfying fleshly desires will fade. God will consume me with Himself and give me a deeper yearning for Him. “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” (Psalm 42:1, 2). Soon I will realize that He is my food and my dessert, but a dessert whose sweetness will last forever.

The day that God rescues me from myself and my selfish desires completely, and I live wholly for my Savior is worthy of being my last. I do not know when God will come and carry me to His eternal home. “I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you” (Revelation 3:3). Thus, I need to live every day as if it were the last. Whatever God wants me to do; I will depend on his mighty strength and obey. If His will is for me to studiously discover His hidden treasures in the Bible, I will obey. Whether it is bursting with gratitude towards my Savior and sharing with everyone around me the Gospel, the Story of God’s love, in my actions and words, I will obey. It does not matter if I am uncomfortable, and the world hates and persecutes me. God is my Comforter. He has overcome the world. I will feast on God’s perfect will for me, and an everlasting Joy will consume and satisfy me. This will be a day worthy of a name: The Perfect Last Day.

Know That You Know

He who knows not and knows not that he knows not
is a fool..........shun him
He who knows not and knows that he knows not
is a student........teach him
He who knows and knows not that he knows
is a blind man......lead him
He who knows and knows that he knows
is a wise man.............follow him


My Granddaddy said this to me and I begged him to repeat it over and over until it was ground in my deepest mind. Why do I like it so much? I have yet to discover the answer to that question. For some reason, I begged God to give me wisdom and He answered, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. To stay away from evil is understanding." What is the 'fear of the Lord'? And how do I stay away from evil? I believe that I must seek God's face to run the race of life at my own pace until God picks me up and takes me Home to Heaven to be with Him for eternity. But I must always remember that without God's grace, I've already lost the race. I cannot wait for God to rescue me from the pains of life. Why do I cry so much? I cry because so many people around me are dead and I must share with them God's free gift of eternal life. Why am I so selfish? My Lord, help me to be not so selfish.

Thank you God for being so BEAUTIFUL =) Will there be rain in Heaven Lord? Because I love the wet diamonds that fall from the sky like a giant waterfall. Please God let it rain in Heaven and let the rain be rainbow colored. And please let there be a crystal clear grandpiano made of glass. I want it to be see through it so that I can see the gold and silver threads as they vibrate into musical melodies. Revelation 7:17 (I think...I wish I could remember references :) And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes and He will catch every tear in His Crystal bottle of Life.

Why do people think there will be no tears in Heaven? What if we cry tears of joy, and God tenderly wipes them away. What if I believe crying is beautiful. "Jesus wept" Jesus wept and yet ... He is perfect. (God is perfect, and we are perfectly imperfect - my oldest sister just told me that; I was quite delighted in the phrase :) Yes! Crystals of wet salt that trickle down a face to show emotion are beautiful. God made tears. They are a gift that God gives us to relieve us from exploding with emotion whether happy or sad. Why does God love me? Well, He loves me in-spite of all of my errors. He loves me in-spite of myself. God loves me because it is His Nature to Love. Satan is sick. But God is Healthy and full of Love. God is Love, and Love is God. Thank you for loveing me, my Father and Husband. Why are You so BEAUTIFUL? Why are whys wise?

As you can see, I have alot of questions and I am waiting (hopefully patiently because patience is a virtue :) for God to answer them. Please God, I yearn to hear Your voice and see You face to face. Take me Home...in Your perfect timing that is =) It is so wonderful to be alive. Thank You for life.

Crystal Clear

Dear People who love to read blogs,
I have a secret...it is really cool so I will tell you write away because as the saying goes, "secrets don't make friends, but friends make secrets. Thus, as a friend I must tell you my secret:

Once upon a time, there lived a girl who was blind. She went to go get her drivers' license. The Policewoman said, "Why do you look so scared?" The timid girl answered, "I'm sorry." The Policewoman said, "You don't need to be scared. You either pass or fail. That's all you do. If at first you don't succeed, try try again." Then the Policewoman ordered, "stand over there miss, please, and I will take your picture." The confused girl whispered, "stand where? And why are you going to take my picture? It is not nice to steal." (she did not actually say that, but it would have been funny if she had :) And so the Policewoman took the girl's picture (I thought Police were not supposed to steal!) Afterwards, the girl said with tears welling up in her eyes, "I think I blinked. Could you take another picture from me please?" The Policewoman looked at the girl and did a fake frowny pouty face and said, "please sit down in the chair." The girl looks around the room and points to the only chair in front of the desk with questioning eyes, "This chair?" she asks. The Policewoman answers, "Yes Miss, sit down and look through this." She points at a weird creepy black machine thing with goggles poking out. As the girl slowly sits down she eyes the foreboding contraption of technology and asks, "you want me to look through that?" The Policewoman answers, "Yes, what other thing is there to look through?".......If you have not noticed yet, I will tell you that this pore girl asks really pointless questions. At least they are pointless and not sharp, because if they were sharp they would cut people. And this girl does not want to heart people. Needless to say, common cents fails her. She is too deep to think of shallow things and not shallow enough to not think of deep things...........

Okay, I will finish this secret story in the near future. Write now I need to slo to geep (that means go to sleep in genius language :)

Hope you, the invisible reader, has enjoyed my story thus far. If you do not want to read it, if it hurts your eyes, if it hurts your brain, than just close your eyes and walk away. No need to torture yourself for my sake.

From the girl named Little Debbie Cakes (as one boy called me at The Backwoods Christian Camp I just arrived home from)

P.S. Hear is one of my favorite sayings:
LIFE IS NOT ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO END
IT IS ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN

Lioness in Action

In anticipation of my trip back to Tanzania, I thought I would post a video I took on my first year there (in 2008). This amazing event happened on a safari in the Ngorongoro crater. Enjoy!

"He who has My commandments..."

A few weeks ago, I attended a Bible convention called "Lads to Leaders" in Nashville, Tennessee. It's an organization that helps young people develop skills that will one day assist them in becoming leaders in the church. Things like song leading, speaking, debate, and Bible reading are among the more serious activities, but then there are also activities like art and puppet theatre. Every year there is a theme verse, and all of the activities must relate to that verse in some form or fashion. This year the verse was John 14:21, and I drew a picture that, in my mind, portrayed the idea of that verse. MaMa, this is uploaded just for you. ;)

Some Sweet Day

My Aunt Shirley never met Granddad, but she mailed me this poem with the words, "I don't know if your grandfather walked with the Lord. If he did, perhaps the words of this poem is what he'd want to say to you."

. . . Granddad gathers me into his arms and I wrap my arms around his middle looking up into his sparkling blue eyes. He lovingly looks down at my upturned face and whispers "I love you, Deborah." I smile, "I love you too Granddaddy." He leans down and kisses me on the forehead. My eyelids slide shut . . .

If you could see where I have gone,
The beauty of this place,
And how it feels to know you're home,
To see the Savior's face.
To wake in peace and know no fear,
Just joy beyond compare,
While still on earth you miss me yet,
You wouldn't want me there.

If you could see where I have gone,
Had made the trip with me,
You'd know I didn't go alone,
The Savior came with me.
At my last breath he was by my side,
And reaching down His hand, said,
"Hurry, you are going home
To a grand and glorious land.
Don't worry over those you love,
For I'm not just with you,
And don't you know with you at home,
They'll long to be here too?"

If you could see where I have gone,
And see what I've been shown,
You'd never know another fear
Or ever feel alone.
You'd marvel at the care of God,
His hand on every life,
And realize He really cares
And bears with us each strife.
And that He weeps when one is lost;
His heart is filled with pain,
But, oh, the joy when one comes home,
A child at home again.

If you could see where I have gone,
Could stay awhile with me,
Could share the things that God has made
To grace eternity.
But, no, you couldn't ever leave,
Once heaven's joy you'd known,
You couldn't bear to walk earth's paths
Once heaven was you home.

If you could see where I have gone,
You'd know we'll meet some day,
And though I'm parted from you now,
That I am just away.
So thank you, dear beloved,
For living for the Lord,
For encouraging me to love Him,
To trust Him and His word.
And now that I am home with Him,
Secure in every way,
I'm waiting here at heaven's door
To greet you some sweet day.

Pea-Soup Fog

Lieutenant Lee and Annette

Granddad married Grandma within a month after returning home from the war. Right now they are together in Heaven ... probably dancing with each other as they used to do in our living room.



I still remember sitting at my Grandfather's feet as he reclined in his overstuffed red chair. I'd gaze up into his excited blue eyes as he retold his WWII stories complete with expressive hand gestures and gun noises. He had many experiences during the war that left him with no doubt that God was watching over him. Here are three specific instances - in my Granddad's own words - which give God credit for his protection.

FINDING THE ENEMY

Imagine, if you can, a valley, a long valley totally snow covered. The snow is knee-deep. Everything is just like a great big long dish opening up for about a quarter to a half mile. I had orders from my battalion commander ... he called me back to headquarters ... why he picked me I don't know. Anyway, he said "Lee, I need to know where the Germans are, and I think they're up at the head of this valley somewhere. I want you to take a patrol of men up this valley and find out where the Germans are. " there wasn't a tree, there wasn't a shrub, it was naked. Just a naked valley covered with knee-deep snow. "Yes sir." My colonel speaketh and I doeth.

I got my men together, a dozen men or so. I told them at daylight we'll move out. So we spent a sleepless night. I prayed all night. I said, "Lord, this is a mess. This is suicide. And I don't know, but do something. I don't know what to do. It is suicide to go up that naked valley and get cut to pieces by the Germans." Do you know what He did? Do you have a solution for that if you were the Lord? What would you do to protect me? Do you know what He did?

When I got up the next morning before day to head out, there was a pea-soup fog. We slogged up that naked valley, and we got up close to those woods and I could see Germans everywhere. I could see them digging in here, I could see a machine gun nest yonder, I heard another machine gun nest over hear working the bolt on their gun to load it up. I saw Germans over there. And I plotted their positions on my map. Then I took my men and we eased back out of that valley and back into town and the fog lifted, just like pulling a curtain up. "Thank you, Lord, Thank you, Lord, Thank you, Lord!"

With that information, we worked over those woods real good with artillery, and then attacked the next day up the valley without a shot being fired at us. We took the positions that the Germans had used, and then moved on from there.

THE TANK AT OSWEILER

The Lord was looking out for me, and I spent the rest of the war listening out for that feeling. And I was led ... I really was. There are specific things ... the most remarkable was, I was riding a tank in Osweiler and had Sergeant Nagle with me. He and I were riding when all of a sudden I had a feeling we ought to get off that tank. I ignored it ... there was no reason for me to get off that tank. And then, it was as though the heavens were screaming at me, "GET OFF THAT TANK!" It was something ... it was a voice that I heard physically that could not be denied. and I told the sergeant "Let's go!" We jumped off that tank and into a culvert just as one of our own planes came over and dropped napalm right on the tank. And here we are cowering in this culvert with our tank blown up and everybody that was in and on it burned up right above us. It was split-second timing. We got safe and the tank was blown!

THE LORD KEPT ME ALIVE

There is no question that the good Lord intended me to come back home. I became convinced of that. I remember leading my company somewhere near the Siegfried Line up to a firebreak in the forest. And I didn't hear a voice, but instead a sudden feeling that "You stop ... don't go across there. " And I stopped and told my men to dig in right here. They complained about it bitterly ... "Aw, lieutenant ... Aw, lieutenant. " But , I said go ahead and dig in right here. So they started digging in to keep them out of mischief.

Then, about that time, all hell broke loose in the clearing and the far edge of where we would have been. We were under observation and didn't know it; so they had set that artillery for the firebreak and the woods beyond it. And here we were in the woods in front of it, and they just obliterated the landscape in front of us. My men quit complaining. Then I told them "OK, let's go!" and we went on across without any problem.


Soldiers hoped to be placed under my Grandfather's command because they considered him "lucky". Granddad, throughout his life, was firm in his conviction that there was no luck or coincidence involved. He always stated clearly that the Lord guided and protected him.

I have fought a good fight,
I have finished my course,
I have kept the faith:
Henceforth there is laid up
for me a crown of righteousness,
which the Lord, the righteous judge,
shall give me at that day: and not to
me only, but unto all them also that
love his appearing.

II Timothy 4: 7,8