Memories of Granddad (Part I, from my journal)

June 3, 2007: “…I got a huge cookies ‘n cream cone. It tasted delicious. I’m sitting with Granddad right now and he just found out that I am left handed. I love my Granddad. He was in World War II and he survived many dangerous times. Today he was wearing his hat on backwards and he looked like a gangsta. “

Nov 22, 2007: “Happy Thanksgiving. That’s right, today is Thanksgiving and I’m having a wonderful time at my Granddad’s house. By the way, it is like 32 degrees F outside and yes I’m about to freeze to death. … Before we feasted on our delicious thanksgiving meal, Granddad said a little speech. He started out with his story about when he was in a tank and God spoke to him saying “Get off the tank” and the voice kept on getting louder. Granddad couldn’t ignore it so he jumped out of the tank and a few seconds later an airplane dropped a bomb on it and blew it up! He said a bunch more things too, but it would take too long to write. I love my Granddad so much!!!

Now 14 years old:

Nov 4, 2008: “On October 12 (Saturday) about 3 weeks ago we moved to Granddad’s house. Our room is upstairs, orange carpet, and a balcony.”

Now 15 years old:

Oct 7, 2009: “My Granddad is so cute!! He eats an apple for lunch and says “Now, I think that’s a pretty healthy non-fattening lunch”(He’s growing an enormous belly), and then a few minutes later he goes and eats a chocolate ice cream popsicle! I love him so much! But he has cancer in his bones. I hope he lives to 106 (he’s 88).”

Now 16 years old:

August 7, 2010: “We didn’t go to the beach. Granddad has cancer and is taking pain medication so he gets really confused, but at least he still walks on the street like 3 times a day. I love walking with him. He doesn’t understand what you say very well and while he is sweating outside he says he is freezing. He has a few things backwards, but he still loves his birds and the beauty of Nature and sits on his porch and thanks God for all of us. He is a sweetheart! I Love You Granddad!”

Nov. 8, 2010: “Dear God, Please comfort Granddad. He is dying like a hero…taking death in stride. But he needs your supernatural strength to continue to the finish line (Your Presence…Heaven). Give him peace and not anxiety. He needs you now more than ever. Get through his deteriorating brain and pour your fruits (Love, Joy, Peace, etc.) inside him. Thank you for my heroic Granddad who never gives up. Thank you for his encouraging nature: Always saying how thankful he is for what we do (“I have just the sweetest chillen and grandchillen”), Calling me “Missy Pretty.” I told him he has beautiful blue eyes and he said, “That’s me. Old blue eyes.” And he started singing, humming, whistling, and making up a rhymin every timin. He also fills the house with groovy harmonica music. I dance to the tune and I do wish one day to play the harmonica like him. Granddad brings joy into this house. He is teaching us the right way to die. Be thankful and positive in all of your blessings. Don’t mope around thinking about your death. Be thankful for every second God gives you in life. When we play the piano, in a sudden burst of bliss, Granddad dances the “hula hula”, gracefully moving his hips and his arms/fingers to the tune. So that’s where I got my music and dancing skills! He also said, “If you don’t use it, you lose it!” and he has shown this in his dedication to exercising his brain (crossword puzzles and playing Bridge) and walking even when his feet are oozing fluids and blood. He keeps on pushing forward. Perseverance. I want my Grandaddy’s perseverance.”

“Granddad also calls the TV “The Idiot Box”, and most of the time it is…just a time-waster, teaching us trash about this world and not the truth of God, our real Savior. When I am dying, I want to have what Granddad has…saying “Every day is a Blessing!” He does get agitated and anxious and even angry sometimes. But who doesn’t? No one is perfect, especially when they are heavily medicated, dying of cancer, and have Alzheimer’s.

“But when Granddad’s true spirit shows through (clearly from God and by God’s Grace) I am stunned speechless by Granddad’s beauty in Spirit and in Body. “

“No matter what happens, Granddad, you have shown us all more than enough how much You Love US. God, thank you for giving Granddad your Love which surpasses all understanding. Thank you for loving us and putting up with us, Granddad. I love you my wonderful Granddaddy.

( “I thank my God every time I remember you.” Phil 1:3 “I can’t wait to experience the Pure Joy you’re having in Heaven right now!”)

November 15^th, 2010: “Granddad just had the most wonderful experience. A friend called to pray for him and Granddad was deeply impacted. After the call Granddad started praying to God out loud saying how Thankful he was that God was here and helping him. “I need your help Jesus…thank you for us being able to share our needs in prayer. Prayer...I need you God…what a wonderful thing you have done…help me…thank you…Gracious Lord how we thank you”. That was some of his wordy and sometimes hard-to-understand prayer but (father you know what we are thinking in our hearts before we even speak) I am sure You made sense of what Granddad was thinking and trying to put into words. Thank you for my Granddaddy. You have given him something very special (Yourself). You shine through Granddad and only Your supernatural strength could keep him so alive, loving, ready to help (he always offers to take us out to dinner so Mom doesn’t have to cook!), and so joyful in being alive despite his bodily sores, confusion (dementia) and pain of cancer.

November 21^st, 2010: “Sunday night, Granddad was sitting in his chair (that’s where he sleeps) and he kept on calling out things, so I went and talked to him. I gave him a hug and he squeezed me tight and kissed me. He kept on saying “What do I need to do? Where do I sleep? I need to get up.” And I just said that it was night time and he could sleep in his chair where he always sleeps. But he said “I can’t sleep. I wish I could, but I can’t.” So I asked him if I could pray that God would help him to sleep. He said “Please do.” I prayed and then said “God loves you”, and Granddad answered “He loves you, too.” I said “I love you, Granddaddy” and gave him a huge hug and kiss. But Granddad said “What did you just call me?” I said “I am your granddaughter, Deborah, and you are my Granddaddy.” He exclaimed, “I wish you were. I wish you were my granddaughter. What relation are you to me?” I just gave him a huge smile and we both laughed, both knowing that was the only thing that we both could understand and agree on (love, laughter,and smiles, hugs and kisses).”

“My Granddad is so special to me. Granddad has shown me that with God we can be overcomers. I can’t imagine the discomfort he is in. His body is covered in sores, blisters popping and oozing (some as large as an adult hand) and he leaks fluid, blood and clear from his skin. The smell arising from the sores is like a wet decaying dog. Nevertheless, Granddad doesn’t sit depressed in his chair staring into the distance thinking of his decaying and cancerous body. He doesn’t quit and say that it’s hopeless to understand things. (He is also losing his mind, dementia, Alzheimer’s, heavy medication for pain). He says “I wish I could understand”, and smiles asking the same questions over and over again. (Lord please give us patience. It is not Granddad’s fault he doesn’t understand or remember. He tries his hardest. Please, God, however long Granddad must stay in this world and in his body of death, give him a peace and a comfort, ease his pain and confusion, and show him that you are in control. Let Granddad rest in You. Hide him, cover him in the shadow or you wing. Give him your strength. Prove to him Your love and carry him to Your home of perfectness where there is no more suffering. All in Your perfect timing. Thank You for giving us Granddaddy: Our Hero. You, my Saviour shall overcome all adversities.)

“ Lord, could You let Granddad live to enjoy this Last Holiday: ThanksGiving…Please :) ?. Come on Granddad! You can make it to ThanksGiving. It is only 4 days away. But if you want to go on ahead and leave this life of suffering and meet Your Saviour who will give you true Life without any pain, or sorrow and go and see Annette (Grandma) your true Love, I understand. I’m actually a little jealous b/c you are so close to meeting God. I wish He would carry me to His marvelous home too. Oh to be in God’s Presence and see Him face to face. I certainly would doubt no more!”